Hello, all you JimmyCsays fans. I hope I’m not barging in here, but Jimmy is just back from his vacation in Turkey, and he’s too tired to file today. So, he’s authorized me, Sultan Salami, to fill in.
I was privileged to host Jimmy during his 12-day Turkey trot, and I’d like to share with you a slide show featuring some of the people and places we saw.
So, if you’ll just grab a chair and look up at the screen, we’ll get started.
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There now, that’s the country that stretches under my robes from Georgia and Iran on the east to the Aegean Sea on the west. It straddles two continents — Europe and Asia, with Africa to the south.
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Oh, that Jimmy…what a card! There he is playing Sultan. I had to smack him for that. Nobody, and I mean nobody, impersonates the Sultan.
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That’s my carriage. Jimmy wasn’t too impressed, but, like I told him, “It beats a camel!” (He got a chuckle out of that, but when we stalled in rush-hour Istanbul traffic, he really got ticked.)
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Here’s one of our carpet delivery guys. They’ll bring them to you anytime, anyplace, even drop ’em in your window…provided you fork over the lira.
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Speaking of carpet…Would you buy a carpet from the little guy in the blue shirt? Hah! JimmyC did, and, I have to tell you (although I certainly wouldn’t tell JimmyC this) that he fleeced Jimmy right out of his camel-hair Jockey shorts.
Celal Belli — aka Jelly Belly, aka Reasonable Charlie — is one of our most outstanding carpet merchants. Once Jelly got JimmyC in his showroom just outside Istanbul’s Grand Bazaar and got some hot tea in him and the missus, it was pretty clear that Jimmy was going down. For my part, I stayed out of the negotiations. I’ve seen a lot of you “walking wallets” from the West try to match wits with our carpet croupiers, and it’s usually pretty pathetic.
The turning point, if there ever was one, came when Jelly looked at Jimmy and said, “Money comes and goes; this (the carpet) is forever.” Jimmy’s eyes kind of glazed over, and he looked at the missus, and the missus looked at the carpet, and, bingo, out came the Citi card.
Oh, yes, there’s an addendum to this story. Jimmy sent me an e-mail today, saying that his Pomeranian, uh, “broke in” the carpet with a few Istanbul-inspired turds. Guess the little guy just didn’t appreciate hand-woven wool!
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There’s Jimmy’s missus, Patty, with one of our foremost foreign-trade emissaries. I didn’t catch the emissary’s name, but, I’ve gotta say, Jimmy doesn’t learn very fast. Once again, Jimmy looked like a character in my favorite W.C. Fields movie, “Never Give a Sucker an Even Break.”
On a rainy day, this guy latched on to Jimmy along Sultanahmet street, the main tourist drag in Istanbul, and directed him and Patty to an overpriced restaurant. After lunch, our trade emissary took Jimmy and Patty to a few souvenir shops, where they dropped a few more lira. And, then, wouldn’t you know it, Jimmy tipped the emissary! Did I tell you how much we love you Americans?
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The rainy day was not at all disappointing, however. For one thing, at the restaurant, Jimmy and Patty got the services of one of the finest, most gracious waiters in Istanbul. His name is Mevlut Balek. Jimmy was really struck by the fact that Mevlut (pronounced Mev-lute) looked a lot like Frank Sinatra and had a hat like the one JimmyC always wears.
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Oh, yeah, our kids are just like yours…always cutting up and mugging for the camera.
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I was pretty sure Jimmy was going to like our Aegean coast (this near Bodrum), and I was right. In fact, Jimmy thought it was white hot.
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Fortunately, the glass-clear, turquoise-looking water is cool to the touch, and Jimmy was able to collect himself.
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Not everybody gets excited at the beach, though. Sometimes it’s just nice to close your eyes and let your cares melt away.
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What’s that? Wait a minute…I’ve got to consult my Arabic-English dictionary. Oh, here it is…
Thanks for dropping by. Sultan says don’t be a stranger now!
JimmyCsays: At the juncture of journalism and daily life in KC 
My wife and I traveled with JimmyC and the missus.
We sure had a great time.
Oh my !!
What a trip
You and Patty must have had a great trip, Jim. Looks and sounds wonderful. Loved your Sultan garb.
Cheers,
Laura
Renting the Sultan outfit might have been my best investment (2 lira, or $1.50) of the trip, Laura.