As you read this, I’m on the way to Louisville, which I’ll use as my base to make forays to Indianapolis for the women’s NCAA basketball semifinals and finals Sunday and Tuesday.
So, I want to leave you with something entertaining. And what’s more entertaining than some of the weird things that come out of people’s mouths? (Sometimes, unfortunately, I hear weird things coming from my own mouth, but in this case I’m going to focus on the folly of others.)
Three examples:
1) As you know by now, Karen Pletz — she of the spiked, blond hair and surgically altered face — was indicted yesterday for allegedly embezzling $1.5 million from the school she formerly headed, Kansas City University of Medicine and Biosciences. Among other things, according to documents filed in U.S. District Court, the 63-year-old Pletz forged approvals of bonus payments totaling more than $1 million.
And what was the reaction of her lawyer, Brandon J.B. Boulware?
“With today’s indictment, the federal government has injected itself into the civil litigation dispute between KCUMB and its former president, Karen Pletz…It is unfortunate, in our view, that local federal prosecutors would choose to spend public resources on a case like this when there are other, legitimate processes already at work to resolve the issues in dispute.”
Pletz
Whichever Kansas City Star reporter interviewed Boulware — Alan Bavley or Tony Rizzo — must have had to stuff a handkerchief in his mouth to keep from laughing.
“Dispute”? Oh, yeah, a little dust-up over a $million or so.
How about the federal government “injecting itself” into the case? Shocking! Why, those brazen prosecutors ought to be put in time out.
“Other, legitimate processes already at work”? Can’t we all just get together over coffee and work this out?
Personally, I think Karen’s hair will settle down after a few weeks in prison. And I think Brandon B.S. (I mean J.B.) Boulware will get over his indignation.
2) Earlier this week, federal prosecutor Richard L. Hathaway (there go those prosecutors again) said that former KU assistant athletic director Rodney Jones used proceeds from stolen tickets on “an extensive rolling party scene that persevered for five years.”
God, how I used to hate those persevering parties! They just would not stop. You’d invite a few people over, and pretty soon everybody would be drunk, and days would turn into weeks, and weeks would turn into years.
In Jones’ case, though, law enforcement authorities plucked him off the merry-go-round, and now he’ll have to persevere through 46 months in prison.
3) In a March 25 story, Kansas City Star sports writer Mike DeArmond clicked off the steps leading up to Mike Anderson’s decision to resign as men’s basketball coach at the University of Missouri and take the same post at the University of Arkansas.
It was high drama, the way DeArmond and Mizzou athletic director Mike Alden recounted it.
Alden
“At 6:20 p.m., Alden said, his telephone rang. It was Anderson calling with a request for Alden to meet him around 6:45 p.m. in Anderson’s office at Mizzou Arena. Alden made the walk from his office on the opposite side of the arena to Anderson’s door.
‘He informed me at that time that he was going to be resigning his position with the University of Missouri as our head men’s basketball coach,’ Alden said.”
Well, thank you, Mike Alden, for letting us know exactly what Anderson’s title was, and thank you, Mike DeArmond, for taking up three lines of newsprint with that powerfully redundant information.
Now, I can hardly wait to see who Alden is going to hire as the next head men’s basketball coach at the University of Missouri.
Or should I say next head men’s basketball coach at the University of Missouri-Columbia?
Lest we forget, the MAIN reason the US Attorney is “injecting” the US government into the Karen Pletz situation is UNPAID TAXES.
This is a story being driven by tax fraud, and the IRS is (to no great surprise) trying to make an example of a high-profile individual to remind us “regular folk” that even if you do manage to steal a million dollars or more, you still need to declare that money on your federal tax return!!!!
“Wierd and stupid utterances” should be a regular feature.
I gotta believe first place goes to Adrian Peterson, who, breaking away from his sudies on the Latin First Declension, to proclaim that ‘NFL players are just like the slaves on the platation.”
Just when I thought there was no god.
Thanks Adrian, for shining a much needed light on the Upton Sinclair like abuses in the NFL, and of course, the comparrison, to, of course, slavery.
Only in America, could a guy like Peterson, with the IQ of a Tribolite, find not only a public stage to embarrass himself and his profession, but, because HE IS A BLACK PERSON, talking heads all over the fruited plain, have to weigh in, and with a straight face, comment and discuss the merits of such blathering, bovine, bullshit.
Now I am gonna pluck some low hanging fruit here, cause its Sunday, and I am pretty hungover.
As long as the whole tribe of way-too-rich NFL owners and players are at the negotiating table, perhaps, for the good of all, one of the first points put to bed, would be a “Dumbass” filter.
Installed at the draft, on the stage, before the jersey and hat is handed to said player, a devise can be screwed directly into the jaw of said rookie, so that every time he strays outta his purvue, he gets a shock, or maybe his jaw is locked shut. Yeah, I like that better.
Before filter:
CITIZEN ON THE STREET: “So, Dwayne Bowe, whats up man? How about that shit gon down in Libya?”
DWAYNE BOWE: “Just another perpetraion by the man, altho, them Leboneeze dudes know how to treat a woman.”
After filter:
CITIZEN ON THE STREET: “So, Dwayne Bowe, whats up man? How about that shit goin down in Libya?”
DWAYNE BOWE: “Just another mwpppmhh, WHAT THE!!??!! Man I don’t know jack about that, I just gotta start catchin the rock.”
We can’t continue to let athletes like Adrian Peterson set the agenda for discourse.
I don’t wanna see a remake of “Gone With The Wind” where the slaves are driving Maybachs and have entitlement issues.
Home to Tara.