Well, Happy Super Bowl Sunday, everybody!
As you saw from this morning’s Kansas City Star, it’s a great day to be a Chiefs’ fan — even if the Chiefs aren’t in the big game in Atlanta.
Funny thing, though…you’d hardly know the Super Bowl was being played today if you were just relying on The Star.
The front pages of the last remaining “live” sections of the paper were, uh, papered over with images of Chiefs’ Quarterback Patrick Mahomes, who was voted the NFL’s Most Valuable Player yesterday.
In case you’re among the two million area residents who DO NOT get the print subscription, check it out…
Pretty exciting stuff, for sure…But more in the nature of blockbuster news to me was this announcement well back inside the “A” section…
As of Monday, The Kansas City Star will be changing its name to The Kansas City Sporting Star. In these challenging economic times, we have decided to bulk up our sports coverage and believe the name change, while significant, is appropriate. Specifically, we will now give you day-to-day, year-round coverage of the Chiefs. (For example, look for our story soon about Pat Mahomes buying a $2 million house in the Ward Parkway area. We’ll have exclusive, interior photos!) At the same time, we pledge that our end-zone-to-end-zone coverage of Missouri and Kansas news will not diminish one iota. In fact, we are considering hiring a new local reporter in 2020. Finally, we thank you for your loyal support and hope you will call us and let us know how you like the change. Call takers in India are standing by.
That certainly is some big news, eh? But I’ll let you in on something, there’s more. My kick-ass sources (who will never be named and who have proved to be right about 60 percent of the time) have told me five other changes will be taking place at 1601 McGee in the coming months and years:
:: Former Chiefs’ defensive coordinator Bob Sutton is in line to be named director of audience development. (That’s circulation, for those of you still living in the pre-Internet era.) At a party, Sutton was overheard to say, “I don’t see a down side to taking this job.”
:: Former Chiefs’ place kicker and Mission Hills resident Jan Stenerud will replace the recently departed Steve Rose as Kansas-side “guest columnist.” (I understand that where Rose was getting $100 a column, Jan will be bumped up to $125.)
:: During the off seasons, Chiefs’ linebacker Dee Ford will be in charge of aligning bi-state coverage of Missouri and Kansas athletics.
:: Also during the off seasons, Kansas City Star Editor Mike Fannin and Chiefs’ General Manager Brett Veitch will be swapping jobs. (This is an especially good fit for Fannin, who was sports editor before becoming editor.)
:: The Star’s corporate owner, McClatchy Co., has secured a pledge from Chiefs’ Coach Andy Reid to become publisher of the paper upon his retirement from football. After a handshake deal was concluded, Reid was reported to have said, “Listen, it’s hard to get to the top in any business, but I’m going to get there with one Kansas City company or another.”
…Meanwhile, out at Mount Washington Cemetery, the ground was reported to be rocking under the Gothic Tutor mausoleum where KC Star founder William Rockhill Nelson’s body is entombed.
Hang on, Rocky, the times they are a changin’.
The ghost of Vaughn applauds.
Is this a joke?
You’ll have to ask Edward E. Scott, son of the late Jim Scott, longtime KC Star editorial page editor.
If they crap can the entire editorial board, I’m in.
Is this for real?
Didn’t anyone give you a new calendar for 2019? We’re still a few months away from April 1.
Now you’re talking…
OMG, I just laughed my fool head off. You almost got me. My favorite part was that Steve Rose was getting $100 a column. And 60% accurate sources. I’m wheezing out here in Cedar Creek! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!
Thank you, Lisolette…Good to hear from the Olathe division of the JimmyC fan club.
I think this is more like Woody Allen working at the Follies Bergere where Woody paid the 200 Francs to work there. Rose probably paid The Star to let him have a column.
Don’t quit your day job, wild man.
Actually, I believe that was overheard at the *wine* cooler.