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Red light cameras prove their worth; a Chihuahua is taken for a deadly dip; and gum sticks are served up soaked in precious bodily fluids

March 28, 2013 by jimmycsays

As many of you probably suspect (or know), I don’t have a smartphone, a laptop or an iPad. Many times when I’m away, as a result, I don’t have regular access to the Internet and don’t get my full quotient of news.

So, what I sometimes do is have someone save all our home-delivered copies of The Star and The New York Times. Then, when I get back, I go through them at my leisure.

And so it went with last week’s trip to the Bay Area: A big stack of orange (The Star) and blue (NYT) bags were perched on the kitchen counter when we returned Sunday night, and I’ve spent parts of the last few days leafing through the papers. I focused on The Star because the national and international news are more readily available on the road.

As I read, I made note of several stories that caught my attention for one reason or another.

Here, then, are few JimmyC-tagged stories from editions of last week’s KC  Star:

Monday, March 18: “As red-light citations drop, speeders may be next target.”

The gist of this story, written by City Hall reporter Lynn Horsley was that the red-light-camera system installed at various intersections over the last several years has been so successful at reducing red-light running and T-bone crashes that city officials are thinking about deploying cameras aimed at catching people speeding.

The irony of this story is that in January 2012, The Star let itself get swept up in an effort by the Police Department to undercut the red-light-camera program. The Star ran — as an A-1, centerpiece — a story in which police officials essentially contended that the program was a failure because it had triggered an increase in rear-end crashes because of people supposedly jamming on the brakes to avoid running lights.

The story was way off base, and The Star was forced to clarify it in a follow-up a day or two after the first story…And what, you ask, could have motivated the Police Department to try to jettison the program? Simple, it takes department employees a lot of time to process the images and send out the thousands of citations the system generates. In other words, it’s a big inconvenience.

Now, the whole truth and nothing but has come out: The system has worked and people driving the streets of Kansas City are a lot safer than they were before the program began.

Tuesday, March 19: “Brookside Berbiglia”

This subhead appeared above a story that is more about the evolving tenor of the Brookside shops than it is about changes at the Berbiglia store a block west of 63rd and Main.

Here’s the scoop, as brought to us by The Star’s Joyce Smith: Joe Zwillenberg, owner of the Westport Flea Market Bar & Grill, has purchased the Berbiglia building. After renovation, Berbiglia will move to the south part of the building, and a Jimmy John’s will open on the north side of the building.

Do you remember about 10 years ago when Brookside residents raised a hue and cry when reports surfaced that a Starbucks might open on Brookside Boulevard just north of 63rd Street? The locals managed to beat back the threat, and a Roasterie coffee store moved in instead.

But then, a year or two ago, a Panera was erected on the corner of 63rd and Brookside Plaza, tripping the wire for the invasion of the franchises.

So now we get a nice, black and red Jimmy John’s, which produces the worst sandwiches in the nation, in my opinion. If you take away the shredded lettuce, all you have is a thin layer of salami (or whatever), a thin slice of cheese and a slice of mealy tomato — all wedged into a disemboweled sandwich roll.

Friday, March 22: “Two Jump Off Bond Bridge”

A man in his 50s and his 29-year-old daughter committed suicide by jumping off the Bond Bridge over the Missouri River. They were holding hands. In her other arm, the daughter cradled the family’s Chihuahua.

A Chihuahua, not the Chihuahua

A Chihuahua, not the Chihuahua

Now I understand how depression can push people into such a state that they want to take their own lives. But why in the world would someone want to take the family dog with them? Was the dog suffering from terminal cancer? I doubt it. I wish that dog could have swum to shore and lived out his life with a new, more appreciative owner.

Friday, March 22: “Man gave tainted gum to women, police say.”

Uhhh, tainted…How shall I say this in a primarily family friendly blog? OK, the guy jerked off and spread his cum over pieces of chewing gum and then distributed them — on a platter — to female co-workers at a Northland grocery.

Now there’s a novel way of exerting control over women, eh?

Oh, yeah, and, like me, he’s a blogger. He goes by the handle “BlueMidnighter.” Blue, as in dirty, filthy, nasty.

No further comment.

Saturday, March 23: “Suit filed in JJ’s explosion”

A Jackson County Circuit Court lawsuit filed on behalf of six JJ’s employees named five defendants:

— Missouri Gas Energy, whose workers assured Kansas City fire fighters an hour before the explosion that they had the gas leak “under control”

— Heartland Midwest, the contractor that was digging in the area and punctured the gas line

— Time Warner Cable, which had contracted Heartland Midwest to install fiber optic cable to the new Plaza Vista project across the street from JJ’s

— Missouri One Call, a utility-sponsored service that anyone planning to dig in the vicinity of gas lines must call before proceeding

— USIC Locating Services, a company that does the marking for most of the utilities in the Kansas City area.

Obviously, the plaintiffs are casting a broad net, as City Councilman Jim Glover told me would happen a few weeks ago.

The surprise, at least to me, is that neither the city nor the Fire Department was named. What that tells me is that the plaintiffs’ attorney, Grant L. Davis, concluded that the Fire Department was not legally culpable, even though a fire fighting crew left the scene after MGE workers assured the crew that everything was A-OK.

I’ll bet city officials emitted a communal sigh of relief after they heard the news of the filing.

I don’t think that means, however, that the city is completely off the hook: I imagine that any of the named defendants could attempt to bring the city into the lawsuit as a defendant.

It promises to be an interesting legal case to follow, so stay awake, readers!

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Posted in journalism, Kansas City Star | Tagged Jimmy John's, JJ's, red light cameras | 13 Comments

13 Responses

  1. on March 28, 2013 at 1:34 am Larry Luper

    Fitz, A phone just being in your hand, makes it a smart phone.


    • on March 28, 2013 at 8:33 am jimmycsays

      Very true, Larry…It’s nothing short of miraculous, at least to a lot of us baby boomers.


  2. on March 28, 2013 at 12:07 pm The Smartman

    Oh the horror…Goodcents, Panera and now comes hither Jimmy John’s, all within a bagel toss of each other. Then there’s Bella Napoli just around the corner, with brilliant deli meats and cheeses, and Cosentino’s just a lob wedge away from there. Quality aside, I suspect that Jimmy John’s will offer delivery throughout Brookside and gain the upper hand in the Sammich War.

    Ejaculating on chewing gum? Even the Romans of 33AD never stooped so low.


    • on March 28, 2013 at 12:40 pm jimmycsays

      Ah, there’s the word I was looking for when I was trying to be euphemistic — “ejaculating.”

      …Regarding Jimmy John’s, somebody’s gonna be lettin’ the air out of the delivery guy’s tires. He-he-he! GO BACK TO WORNALL!!!


  3. on March 28, 2013 at 9:00 pm Jim Gottsch

    I don’t think their sandwiches are so bad.


    • on March 29, 2013 at 12:43 pm jimmycsays

      You won’t join the picket line, then, Jim?


  4. on April 2, 2013 at 8:52 am chuck

    Jimmy Johns IS horrible.

    I have always had Chi Wau Waus and Rottweilers. Too old now for a big dog, but still love the Wau Waus.

    Racalcitrant little bastards, yet absolutely hilarious.

    Jumpin off of a bridge with your dog is slightly less offensive than throwing one off of an overpass.

    I am all for throwing Mike Vick off of an overpass.

    I am not too old to do it either.


    • on April 2, 2013 at 9:14 pm jimmycsays

      EXCELLENT comments, Chuck; I say excellent!

      Of course Jimmy John’s is horrible. My friend Jim Gottsch, who says it’s not so bad, watches his diet like a mad man — counting calories, checking on where the fish comes from and whatnot — and yet he comes out and makes a statement like that. Why, I’m afraid he’s daft. I’m really worried about him.

      And what a good point about bridge jumping with your pet being slightly less offensive than throwing a pet off an overpass. At least the lady was willing to give up her own life while taking Sparky’s. I mean, it’s not exactly on the Jovan Belcher outrage level…the difference being the lady was nuts.

      Mike Vick? I agree but I think he would toss a couple of us before what was left of our platoon could get him overboard. So, let’s hold off on that, huh?


  5. on April 3, 2013 at 11:19 am chuck

    Mr. Gottsch, surrounded in his kitchen, by a crenelated barricade of TV Dinners takes issue with our aspersions while salivating over a Hungry Man Sports Grill Beer Battered Chicken Dinner.

    He is lying about the diet.


    • on April 3, 2013 at 11:25 am jimmycsays

      I don’t think that’s the case, Chuck, but I’ll be sure to alert him to your theory. He’s a good sport, which is one of his many fine qualities.


      • on April 3, 2013 at 12:37 pm chuck

        :)


  6. on April 4, 2013 at 9:20 pm Jim Gottsch

    Thanks for alerting me to this exchange of aspersions Jim. I will concede that maybe Jimmy Johns does not make the very best sandwich out there but they certainly do not make the worst! That might be Subway. One of the best is Mr. Goodcents, they slice the meat and sometimes the cheese to order. Their wheat bread is tasty too. Maybe chuck is used to more leisurely upscale gourmet fare but when you’re on the go and need a nutritious filling bite, Jimmy John’s is OK. I don’t eat TV dinners either, do they still have those? How would you know, chuck?


    • on April 6, 2013 at 7:55 pm chuck

      :)



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