One of the best stories you will ever find appeared in Thursday’s Kansas City Star on Page A-11.
It wasn’t written by a reporter; it didn’t even carry a headline.
It was an obit that appeared under the name Annabelle Buckner Allen.
Annabelle’s was the first obit among two and a quarter pages of obits. It jumped out, however, not because it was first but because it was clear, right up front, that this was a tragedy.
Annabelle Buckner Allen
The smiling, blond woman looking out from the page was dead at 37. The photo alone, even a bit grainy, signaled this was a “must-read” obit.
Annabelle died last Monday after surviving five years with “non-smoking, terminal lung cancer.”
The story didn’t start out with that, however. Like many a personal story, it started with her birth…
“She was the youngest child, only by 15 months, which caused the relationships with her siblings to be quite ‘spirited.’ “
She graduated from K.U. in 1998, and then…
“After a couple of jobs in social work, she decided it would be a lucrative career and decided to get her master’s in social work from KU.”
At first, the reference to “lucrative career” kind of threw me. I thought it might be a joke, but the context didn’t give it away. But then the obit writer reported that a few years later…
“she decided to change career paths to yet another profitable job, teaching.”
From social worker to teacher…Indeed, we know this lady wasn’t trying to amass a fortune.
“After graduating with honors from Rockhurst University in record time (mainly because no math was involved), Annabelle began teaching second grade at Red Bridge elementary. This was her true calling.”
But then the writer dropped the bomb that you knew had to be coming…
“Unfortunately after only teaching for three months, she was diagnosed with…”
You would expect the story to go straight to pathos from there, but it didn’t…
“To the surprise of everyone, in the summer of 2009, Annabelle’s longtime friendship with an amazing man, Tom Allen, turned romantic and eventually led to marriage in 2011.”
Talk about an unexpected twist…From the timing, it appears that Tom knew about the cancer before he got serious about her. If that’s the case, he gets the Kansas Citian of the Decade award.
The story continued in a positive vein, marginalizing the cancer and emphasizing the good times…
“Despite the bad luck with her health, Annabelle was proud to say that she and Tom had one of the greatest love stories of all time. Although no children of their own, Annabelle and Tom loved their nieces and nephew immensely and cherished their time they shared together.”
The obit writer then revealed that Annabelle had a hand in its preparation…
“Annabelle will be known for her impeccable organizational skills, quick wit (she wrote that) and enormous charm (she wrote that too).”
Inevitably, the elements of tragedy returned: Her survivors include both grandfathers and her paternal grandmother.
I once heard a saying that goes like this: “When your parents die, you lose your past; when your children die, you lose your future.” Imagine what it must be like for those grandparents to see Annabelle die in what should have been her prime.
Rounding out the story — before the reporting of the service time and place — the obit said…
“She is survived by her dashing husband, Tom; perfect mother, Christy; adorable sister, Margaret…talented brother, Brad…and so close to her heart, her nieces and nephew.”
Now there’s a story, readers, that should leave you emotionally drained but with a heart full of admiration for Annabelle and the family members who supported her.
As a KC Star reader, I want to applaud the obit writer for drawing a beautiful portrait of a beautiful woman who looked death in the face every day for five years and pushed ahead with good humor and incredible grace.
**
P.S. On this page, you can see a video of Annabelle talking about herself and her diagnosis.
Fitz,
You’re not going to believe this but my son Jeremy was in Annabelle Buckner’s 2nd grade class at Red Bridge Elementary. At the time, Jeremy was new to Red Bridge. He had been at St. Elizabeth’s the previous two years but he had some reading issues that needed to be addressed. The Center School District was better equipped to handle those issues.
Jeremy and Ms. Buckner really hit it off. And Catherine and I greatly appreciated her patience and understanding. She played a big part in helping Jeremy adjust to his new surroundings. He is now in 7th grade at Center Middle School and has thrived in that school district.
I remember when Ms. Buckner was diagnosed with lung cancer and it shook all of us to the core. I remember checking in with her several months after her diagnosis and her telling me that she was feeling better but that her father had just recently died of cancer.
This is the first I have heard about Ms. Buckner’s death and so I am very very saddened. She was a great lady. Very courageous. My deepest sympathies to her husband and family.
Great addition to this post, Mike…It shows how deeply she affected people and that, indeed, she had found her true calling.
…Be sure to look at the video that I noted in the P.S. that I added after posting.
Prayers and condolences.
Jim:
I read the obit in the paper and also thought what an amazing woman and how tragic for her, her husband and all who knew her. The video was heartbreaking, knowing the outcome.
Thanks, Jim, for putting Annabelle Buckner Allen in the spotlight, which she certainly deserves.
All best,
Laura
P.S.
Wonderful comment from Mike Rice.
Laura
Thanks, Laura. Best to you, too.
Thanks Laura
Thanks for sharing this Fitz.
I liked her matter of fact, honest approach with regard to her illness. The video was very good. Her admission of fear was an unintentional revelation of her courage in my opinion.
God bless her on her journey and god bless the folks she left behind.